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Adulting 101

Fathers Take Lead: Dad,She Doesn’t Like Me.

Father’s should be available for their children ;more so giving an ear to their children’s heartbreak experiences

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”Keke do you love me, Are you riding, say you’ll never ever leave from beside me, ’cause I want ya….” In my feelings with Drake(Rapper) because Muthoni has rejected me. My advances have proven futile as she’ll put it …” you’re not my type.”  My playlist is full of sad songs: Little Mix(girl-pop band) says No More Sad Songs. I am a young teen looking for love and Muthoni has broken my heart. Day and night thinking about her, hurt, broken and feeling low.  Why won’t she acknowledge my love for her?

”Mwanaume unalia aje juu umeachwa na mschana? Aje tu manze, Bro unachoma! ” The society is screaming in my ears. My self-esteem has been going low since my first love rejected me. I have been looking for solace. My friends are mocking me, my circle is making fun. My feelings are not taken into consideration. Where do I get help from? Everyone is deeming me stupid and my masculinity is on edge. Am I a man? Men do not cry especially because of a woman. What do I do?  Back home my father and mother have been married for the longest time and the thought of asking them for advice is only real in my favourite series.

PHOTO COURTESY

”If you are not emotionally present for your child , they will withdraw ” Joseph Mithanga -Parent

Isn’t it sad that young men only watch the parents give their sons relationship advice on TV? This madness should stop.  Let’s break it down: Who is a parent? A parent is an individual who has a biological, legal, or social relationship with a child and is responsible for the child’s care, upbringing, and well-being. The well-being is where the parents draw the line. Heartbreaks are part of a child’s growth and deeming it as something small or stupid is risky for both the parent and child.

In the same regard, the father should take the lead. Man to man let’s converse about the heartbreak. A father: a male figure who assumes a nurturing and supportive role in a child’s life (Ai definition), Our African fathers were dimmed as providers. Is it about the providence though? No. A father’s guide to navigating his son’s love life goes a long way in fostering a healthy father-son relationship and giving the boy direction.

PHOTO COURTESY

The society is on the neck of young men. The desire to fit in and have a girlfriend exists. It is no longer a tale, it is real. Seeing young men do TikTok videos (or any other social media platform) with their fathers is very impressive. That is a good indicator of a healthy relationship. The phrase ”they only love football and their mothers” is because there was no hand to hold through the tunnel.

Courtesy of TikTok-mystakinfolk

As a young man, I love to be listened to. My feelings are valid. I’m only human, I fall in love.  As an adult, I have a full understanding that my parents will always be regardless of how tall or how broken my voice is. Parents, consider the well-being of your children. From young ones to teenagers, hear them out. Let not depression sink in because of Muthoni or Mike. Take action!

Adulting 101

Quarter-life crisis or Plot twist?

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Do you feel like life’s throwing you one too many curveballs lately? Welcome to your quarter-life crisis—well, I wouldn’t call it that, more like a plot twist!

If you’re in your 20s or early 30s, chances are you’ve felt that unsettling mix of confusion, anxiety, and “What am I even doing with my life?” vibe. But hey, it’s not as grim as it seems. This phase, though overwhelming, is more of a growth spurt for your mind and soul.

Here’s How to Navigate this Rollercoaster with Style

1. Embrace the Chaos, Don’t Fight It

First off, let’s normalize the chaos. Life’s not a straight path, and the sooner you accept the zig-zags, the smoother your ride will be. Remember, everyone’s story is different, so don’t compare your journey to someone else’s Instagram highlight reel.

This period of uncertainty? It’s just the universe’s way of nudging you towards something bigger and better.

2. Reflect and Redirect

Feeling lost? That’s your cue to pause and reflect. Ask yourself the deep questions: What do I really want? What makes me happy? It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right away.

Start small—maybe it’s time to pivot in your career, explore a new hobby, or even take a solo trip to clear your mind.

The goal is to redirect your energy towards what genuinely matters to you.

3. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Your vibe attracts your tribe, so keep it positive. Hang out with people who uplift you, not those who drain your energy. And don’t forget to celebrate the small wins—whether it’s finally nailing that work project or just getting out of bed when you didn’t feel like it. Positivity breeds more positivity, and that’s what you need right now.

4. Trust the Process

Trust me, everything you’re going through is preparing you for something amazing. You might not see it now, but hindsight’s 20/20, right? So, trust the process and keep moving forward, even if it’s just one baby step at a time. Your plot twist? It’s leading to a grand finale that’ll be worth the wait.

A quarter-life crisis isn’t the end of the world; it’s just a chapter in your story. Embrace the uncertainties, learn from them, and use this time to craft a life that’s true to who you are. After all, you’re the author of your own story and this plot twist? It’s just the beginning of something epic.

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Adulting 101

Career Hopping: The Emotional Cost of Constant Reinvention

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Remember the days when people would stick to one job for life? Yeah, that’s a distant memory for most of us. These days, switching careers every few years seems to be the norm, especially among millennials and Gen Z. It’s exciting, keeps things fresh, and opens up new opportunities. But beneath the surface, career hopping can take an emotional toll that’s often overlooked.

So, what’s the real cost of constantly reinventing ourselves in the professional world. Let’s face it—career hopping is both thrilling and terrifying. On one hand, it’s all about exploring new opportunities, challenging yourself, and refusing to settle for anything less than what you deserve. On the other hand, it’s a rollercoaster of uncertainty, where each leap into the unknown comes with its own set of risks and emotional challenges.

One of the biggest pressures driving career hopping is the fear of missing out (FOMO). We’re bombarded with success stories on social media—people landing dream jobs, starting businesses, and seemingly living their best lives. It’s hard not to compare yourself and wonder if you’re falling behind. This can push us to jump from one job to another, always in search of the next big thing, but never truly settling into a role.

But here’s the thing: constantly changing jobs can be exhausting. Each new position comes with a learning curve—new skills to master, new colleagues to understand, and a new work culture to adapt to. It’s a lot to take on, and the stress can quickly add up. The excitement of a fresh start can be overshadowed by the anxiety of having to prove yourself all over again.Moreover, there’s the emotional impact of leaving behind teams and projects that you’ve invested in. It’s not just about the work; it’s about the relationships you build along the way. Saying goodbye to colleagues who’ve become friends can be tough, and starting over in a new environment can feel lonely at times.So, how can we navigate the ups and downs of career hopping without losing ourselves in the process? Here are some tips:

– Reflect on Your Goals: Before making a move, take some time to reflect on your long-term career goals. What do you really want to achieve? Will this new role bring you closer to that goal, or are you just chasing the next shiny thing?

– Embrace Lifelong Learning: Instead of hopping from one job to another, consider ways to grow within your current role. Lifelong learning—whether through courses, certifications, or new projects—can help you stay challenged and fulfilled without the need to constantly change jobs.

– Build a Support System: Career hopping can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to have a support system in place. Whether it’s friends, family, or mentors, having people to talk to about your experiences can make a huge difference.

– Prioritize Mental Health: Don’t forget to take care of your mental health. The stress of career changes can take a toll, so make sure you’re practicing self-care, whether that’s through meditation, exercise, or simply taking time to relax.In the end, career hopping isn’t inherently good or bad—it’s about how you approach it.

By being mindful of the emotional impact and making decisions that align with your long-term goals, you can enjoy the benefits of career hopping without burning out. After all, the journey is just as important as the destination.

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Adulting 101

Rediscovering Yourself Through Solo Travel: The Mental Health Benefits of Venturing Alone

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Ever considered packing your bags and hitting the road alone? It might sound a bit daunting—traveling alone, without the comfort of familiar faces—but there’s something incredibly liberating about it.

Solo travel is more than just an opportunity to explore new places; it’s a chance to reconnect with yourself in ways that everyday life rarely allows. Let’s dive into the mental health benefits of venturing out on your own, and why solo travel might just be the best therapy you didn’t know you needed.

There’s a unique kind of freedom that comes with solo travel. You’re not tied to anyone else’s schedule or preferences, and that means you get to do exactly what you want, when you want. This kind of independence can be incredibly empowering, especially in a world where we’re often expected to conform to the needs and expectations of others.

One of the most profound benefits of solo travel is the opportunity it provides for self-reflection. When you’re alone in a new environment, away from the usual distractions of daily life, you have the space to think deeply about where you’re at in life—your goals, your values, your dreams. It’s a time to reconnect with yourself and rediscover what truly matters to you.

For many, solo travel also offers a chance to confront and overcome fears. Whether it’s the fear of being alone, the fear of the unknown, or the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone, traveling solo forces you to face these anxieties head-on. And when you do, you often find that you’re much stronger and more capable than you realized. This boost in confidence can have lasting effects, helping you to tackle challenges in other areas of your life with a renewed sense of self-assurance.Moreover, solo travel encourages you to be present. Without the distractions of companions or the pressure to stick to a group itinerary, you can truly immerse yourself in the moment.

Whether it’s watching a sunrise on a deserted beach, wandering through a bustling market, or simply sitting in a café and people-watching, these moments of mindfulness can significantly reduce stress and improve your overall mental well-being.But let’s not forget about the social aspect.

Traveling alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. In fact, solo travelers often find it easier to meet new people. Whether it’s striking up a conversation with a fellow traveler, connecting with locals, or joining a group tour, solo travel opens up opportunities for meaningful interactions that you might not experience if you were traveling with others. These connections can be incredibly enriching, offering new perspectives and friendships that last long after the trip is over.

To make the most of your solo travel experience, here are a few tips:

– Plan Ahead, But Stay Flexible: It’s good to have a general idea of what you want to do, but don’t over-schedule. Allow yourself the freedom to change plans and explore new opportunities as they arise.

-Stay Safe: Always be aware of your surroundings, especially in unfamiliar places. Keep your valuables secure, and stay connected with someone back home who knows your itinerary.

– Embrace the Solitude: Take advantage of the quiet moments to reflect and recharge. Use this time to journal, meditate, or simply enjoy your own company.

– Be Open to New Experiences: Solo travel is a great opportunity to try things you wouldn’t normally do. Whether it’s tasting new foods, learning a new skill, or exploring off-the-beaten-path locations, be open to stepping outside your comfort zone.Solo travel is more than just a way to see the world; it’s a journey into yourself. It’s about discovering who you are when no one’s watching, and finding strength in your own company.

Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a month-long adventure, traveling alone offers a unique opportunity for personal growth and mental rejuvenation. So next time you feel the urge to escape, consider going solo—you might just find that the person you meet along the way is yourself.

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