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Adulting 101

DREAM YA KUTOKA KWA BLOCK

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I came across a tweet the other day that said that the worst thing that was brought about by social media is that people no longer want to go through the stages of life. That 23-year-olds want to afford the same lifestyle as 33-year-olds. When they can’t, they think they’ve failed in life. But I don’t think social media is entirely to blame. I believe that society has successfully socialized the youth to go after the American Dream. That anyone, regardless of where you come from, you can be anything you want. I’m here to tell you that is utter rubbish and real life doesn’t work like this.


Because in reality, we are not at an equal level. This isn’t the Amazing Race where we all start at one point and chart the trajectory of our lies. In this race of real life, some people are behind, others way ahead and some, cannot even get to the start line. Yet, every teacher, motivational speaker or religious leader told us repeatedly, that we can be anything we want. To this, I ask; that street child that accosts you on the streets, on your way to work, or as you exit the supermarket, has dreams of becoming a doctor, a pilot, a lawyer, or any other nine-to-five job. Are they ever going to be this? Doesn’t the fact that they live on the streets negate their capability to achieve this? Does it not predispose them to many disadvantages? Will this child ever achieve this? Did you guys read that story that female street children in their teens are spouses to fellow street kids? That they are in a kind of marriage where the males come home to their wives? Mtoto wa thirteen ni wife? Maisha gani haya!

Photo Credit: Awesome Images


For you who don’t live on the streets and have a roof over your head, uko afadhali. But I reckon that you too have challenges of your own. When I think of a dilapidated shack, with poor lighting and no water, I think about the Wings To Fly program by Equity Bank. They are dedicated to affording some children if not all, a means to realize their dreams. You probably have friends who were beneficiaries of this program. Not everyone gets an opportunity like this. The rest of us, our parents made it through and it took their blood, sweat and tears. But what happens after we get through all of this na bado hatuna pesa? Isn’t this the proverbial crossroad where we consider crime to solve our problems? Ama niwache tu?


Then again, there’s a smaller group that almost slips through the cracks. The one who’s parents afforded them a comfortable life but they want more. This is where the people with audacity are! They will go out to party, socialize and make deals that will earn them millions. Anaishi two-bedroom Kasarani, ako na this big TV, one hell of a couch, fully stocked fridge but never goes to work. Always on the laptop pale sitting room na ukiuliza anasema he does online writing. Unprovoked lies! This is an individual who dared to risk it all and is reaping the benefits. All I want to know is this, tuliacha kuogopa DCI lini guys?


Finally, I say this, yule ako na mingi ndio anaongezewa juu yake. Which is perhaps why the rich keep getting rich and the poor, even poorer. It is why, as a 23-year-old, I want the life that a 33-year-old has. I am willing to risk it all. I want a lot of money and I want it now. When I think of everything it can do for my family and I, I’m ready to risk it. Have you read that tweet of ata mimi mniingize shughuli za fraud niseme small girl big God? This is where I am. But I am not willing to live dangerously enough to get myself a mubaba, be a stripper or do wash wash. Ama niuze kidney? Anyway, this isn’t about me. How far are you willing to go ndio utoke kwa block? Everybody for himself, God for us all.

Adulting 101

Quarter-life crisis or Plot twist?

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Do you feel like life’s throwing you one too many curveballs lately? Welcome to your quarter-life crisis—well, I wouldn’t call it that, more like a plot twist!

If you’re in your 20s or early 30s, chances are you’ve felt that unsettling mix of confusion, anxiety, and “What am I even doing with my life?” vibe. But hey, it’s not as grim as it seems. This phase, though overwhelming, is more of a growth spurt for your mind and soul.

Here’s How to Navigate this Rollercoaster with Style

1. Embrace the Chaos, Don’t Fight It

First off, let’s normalize the chaos. Life’s not a straight path, and the sooner you accept the zig-zags, the smoother your ride will be. Remember, everyone’s story is different, so don’t compare your journey to someone else’s Instagram highlight reel.

This period of uncertainty? It’s just the universe’s way of nudging you towards something bigger and better.

2. Reflect and Redirect

Feeling lost? That’s your cue to pause and reflect. Ask yourself the deep questions: What do I really want? What makes me happy? It’s okay if you don’t have all the answers right away.

Start small—maybe it’s time to pivot in your career, explore a new hobby, or even take a solo trip to clear your mind.

The goal is to redirect your energy towards what genuinely matters to you.

3. Surround Yourself with Positivity

Your vibe attracts your tribe, so keep it positive. Hang out with people who uplift you, not those who drain your energy. And don’t forget to celebrate the small wins—whether it’s finally nailing that work project or just getting out of bed when you didn’t feel like it. Positivity breeds more positivity, and that’s what you need right now.

4. Trust the Process

Trust me, everything you’re going through is preparing you for something amazing. You might not see it now, but hindsight’s 20/20, right? So, trust the process and keep moving forward, even if it’s just one baby step at a time. Your plot twist? It’s leading to a grand finale that’ll be worth the wait.

A quarter-life crisis isn’t the end of the world; it’s just a chapter in your story. Embrace the uncertainties, learn from them, and use this time to craft a life that’s true to who you are. After all, you’re the author of your own story and this plot twist? It’s just the beginning of something epic.

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Adulting 101

Career Hopping: The Emotional Cost of Constant Reinvention

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Remember the days when people would stick to one job for life? Yeah, that’s a distant memory for most of us. These days, switching careers every few years seems to be the norm, especially among millennials and Gen Z. It’s exciting, keeps things fresh, and opens up new opportunities. But beneath the surface, career hopping can take an emotional toll that’s often overlooked.

So, what’s the real cost of constantly reinventing ourselves in the professional world. Let’s face it—career hopping is both thrilling and terrifying. On one hand, it’s all about exploring new opportunities, challenging yourself, and refusing to settle for anything less than what you deserve. On the other hand, it’s a rollercoaster of uncertainty, where each leap into the unknown comes with its own set of risks and emotional challenges.

One of the biggest pressures driving career hopping is the fear of missing out (FOMO). We’re bombarded with success stories on social media—people landing dream jobs, starting businesses, and seemingly living their best lives. It’s hard not to compare yourself and wonder if you’re falling behind. This can push us to jump from one job to another, always in search of the next big thing, but never truly settling into a role.

But here’s the thing: constantly changing jobs can be exhausting. Each new position comes with a learning curve—new skills to master, new colleagues to understand, and a new work culture to adapt to. It’s a lot to take on, and the stress can quickly add up. The excitement of a fresh start can be overshadowed by the anxiety of having to prove yourself all over again.Moreover, there’s the emotional impact of leaving behind teams and projects that you’ve invested in. It’s not just about the work; it’s about the relationships you build along the way. Saying goodbye to colleagues who’ve become friends can be tough, and starting over in a new environment can feel lonely at times.So, how can we navigate the ups and downs of career hopping without losing ourselves in the process? Here are some tips:

– Reflect on Your Goals: Before making a move, take some time to reflect on your long-term career goals. What do you really want to achieve? Will this new role bring you closer to that goal, or are you just chasing the next shiny thing?

– Embrace Lifelong Learning: Instead of hopping from one job to another, consider ways to grow within your current role. Lifelong learning—whether through courses, certifications, or new projects—can help you stay challenged and fulfilled without the need to constantly change jobs.

– Build a Support System: Career hopping can be emotionally draining, so it’s important to have a support system in place. Whether it’s friends, family, or mentors, having people to talk to about your experiences can make a huge difference.

– Prioritize Mental Health: Don’t forget to take care of your mental health. The stress of career changes can take a toll, so make sure you’re practicing self-care, whether that’s through meditation, exercise, or simply taking time to relax.In the end, career hopping isn’t inherently good or bad—it’s about how you approach it.

By being mindful of the emotional impact and making decisions that align with your long-term goals, you can enjoy the benefits of career hopping without burning out. After all, the journey is just as important as the destination.

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Adulting 101

Rediscovering Yourself Through Solo Travel: The Mental Health Benefits of Venturing Alone

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Ever considered packing your bags and hitting the road alone? It might sound a bit daunting—traveling alone, without the comfort of familiar faces—but there’s something incredibly liberating about it.

Solo travel is more than just an opportunity to explore new places; it’s a chance to reconnect with yourself in ways that everyday life rarely allows. Let’s dive into the mental health benefits of venturing out on your own, and why solo travel might just be the best therapy you didn’t know you needed.

There’s a unique kind of freedom that comes with solo travel. You’re not tied to anyone else’s schedule or preferences, and that means you get to do exactly what you want, when you want. This kind of independence can be incredibly empowering, especially in a world where we’re often expected to conform to the needs and expectations of others.

One of the most profound benefits of solo travel is the opportunity it provides for self-reflection. When you’re alone in a new environment, away from the usual distractions of daily life, you have the space to think deeply about where you’re at in life—your goals, your values, your dreams. It’s a time to reconnect with yourself and rediscover what truly matters to you.

For many, solo travel also offers a chance to confront and overcome fears. Whether it’s the fear of being alone, the fear of the unknown, or the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone, traveling solo forces you to face these anxieties head-on. And when you do, you often find that you’re much stronger and more capable than you realized. This boost in confidence can have lasting effects, helping you to tackle challenges in other areas of your life with a renewed sense of self-assurance.Moreover, solo travel encourages you to be present. Without the distractions of companions or the pressure to stick to a group itinerary, you can truly immerse yourself in the moment.

Whether it’s watching a sunrise on a deserted beach, wandering through a bustling market, or simply sitting in a café and people-watching, these moments of mindfulness can significantly reduce stress and improve your overall mental well-being.But let’s not forget about the social aspect.

Traveling alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely. In fact, solo travelers often find it easier to meet new people. Whether it’s striking up a conversation with a fellow traveler, connecting with locals, or joining a group tour, solo travel opens up opportunities for meaningful interactions that you might not experience if you were traveling with others. These connections can be incredibly enriching, offering new perspectives and friendships that last long after the trip is over.

To make the most of your solo travel experience, here are a few tips:

– Plan Ahead, But Stay Flexible: It’s good to have a general idea of what you want to do, but don’t over-schedule. Allow yourself the freedom to change plans and explore new opportunities as they arise.

-Stay Safe: Always be aware of your surroundings, especially in unfamiliar places. Keep your valuables secure, and stay connected with someone back home who knows your itinerary.

– Embrace the Solitude: Take advantage of the quiet moments to reflect and recharge. Use this time to journal, meditate, or simply enjoy your own company.

– Be Open to New Experiences: Solo travel is a great opportunity to try things you wouldn’t normally do. Whether it’s tasting new foods, learning a new skill, or exploring off-the-beaten-path locations, be open to stepping outside your comfort zone.Solo travel is more than just a way to see the world; it’s a journey into yourself. It’s about discovering who you are when no one’s watching, and finding strength in your own company.

Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a month-long adventure, traveling alone offers a unique opportunity for personal growth and mental rejuvenation. So next time you feel the urge to escape, consider going solo—you might just find that the person you meet along the way is yourself.

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