What To Do When You Find Out She’s Pregnant

Finding out that your girlfriend, sneaky link or even one-time hook-up is pregnant can be a life-altering moment filled with a mix of emotions. Running through a range of emotions in one go from fear to uncertainty It’s crucial to handle the situation with care, sensitivity, and responsibility regardless of what type of relationship was shared. But remember, no matter how much fear or panic you are going through, she’s going through a lot worse. You’ve never needed to be an empath more than you do now.

First Interaction: How to React

1. Stay Calm
Your initial reaction is critical. It’s natural to feel a surge of emotions—shock, fear, confusion—but try to stay calm. Take a deep breath and compose yourself. She is likely feeling just as overwhelmed, if not a lot more, and will need your support. So that initial reaction grounds her as it grounds you. Remember, you are going to be okay.

2. Listen Actively
Give her the space to express her feelings and thoughts without interruption. Listen to her concerns, fears, and hopes. Show empathy and understanding, and avoid jumping to conclusions or making immediate decisions. Don’t ask whether she’s sure it’s yours, or whether she’s sure the test is positive. Just listen.

3. Acknowledge Her Feelings
Acknowledge her emotions and validate them. Phrases like “I understand this is unexpected” or “It’s okay to feel scared and unsure” can help her feel heard and supported. I mean you both knew the risk with unprotected sex, so denial is only foolish. Acknowledge your own emotions as well.

How Not to React

1. Avoid Blame
Do not blame her or yourself for the situation. Statements like “How could you let this happen?” are unproductive and can cause further stress and hurt. Because what do you mean? This is a both of you situation.

2. Don’t Dismiss Her Feelings
Avoid dismissing or minimizing her feelings by saying things like “It’s not a big deal” or “We’ll figure it out later.” Her feelings are valid and need to be respected. Listen and respond as calmly as you can master, with as much understanding.

3. Don’t Make Rash Decisions
Avoid making any immediate decisions about the future. This is a significant moment that requires thoughtful consideration and discussion.

What to Say

1. Express Support
Let her know that you are there for her. Say something like, “I’m here for you no matter what,” or “We’ll get through this together,” or “You’re going to be okay”

2. Discuss Next Steps Together
Encourage an open discussion about the next steps. Ask questions like, “What do you think we should do?” or “How are you feeling about this?” If you are unable to decide, get professional help, visit the hospital and counsellor with her. Two heads ARE better than one.

3. Reassure Her
Provide reassurance about your commitment to working through this together. For example, “We’ll explore all our options and make the best decision together.” Remember that this decision is hers, but help as much as you can.

What to Do

1. Take Time to Process
Both of you need time to process the news. Take a few days to let the initial shock settle before making any major decisions. Don’t make any panic rush decisions that could endanger her or you further; either emotionally or physically.

2. Educate Yourselves
Learn about your options. This might include speaking with a healthcare provider, counsellor, or trusted family members. Understanding the implications of each option—parenthood, adoption, or abortion—will help in making an informed decision.

3. Communicate Openly
Maintain open and honest communication. Regularly check in with each other to discuss feelings, concerns, and thoughts as you navigate this situation. You have to be with her through it, whether physically or not. Knowing she’s not alone goes a long way.

4. Seek Professional Guidance
Consider seeing a counsellor or a healthcare professional together. They can provide valuable information, support, and guidance during this challenging time.

5. Plan for the Future
Once you’ve discussed and decided on a course of action, start planning for the future. If you decide to continue with the pregnancy, discuss financial, logistical, and emotional preparations. If you choose another option, seek support to navigate that process as well.

An unplanned pregnancy can be a confusing experience, but how you handle the initial reaction can set the tone for how you both move forward. Stay calm, supportive, and open to discussion. You might initially disagree with what the next steps are, but together, you handle it better. Avoid blame and rash decisions and seek professional guidance to make informed choices together. Remember, this is a journey that requires both of you to work as a team, offering each other understanding and support every step of the way. Regardless of whether you move on as a family or not. Remember, you are both going to be okay, breathe.