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Maintaining friendships as an adult

Nowadays, new year ‘cut offs’ have become rampant and they leave me wondering how friendships can die fast.

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If only we put as much energy to our platonic relationships as we do romantic ones, then, friendships would be thriving. Nowadays, new year ‘cut offs’ have become rampant and they leave me wondering how friendships can die fast. They require as much effort and time. Here’s how to be more intentional in sustaining your adult friendships.

Give and take

Create a balance between the two without leaning so much on one side. Being a constant giver will make you feel unappreciated at some point. You will feel like you are the one putting effort in the friendship while the other party is using you for something you can give them. On the other hand, taking and taking and taking brings a strain to your friendships.

Communicate

That silent treatment that ends up in a drift is not worth it. Just as you should communicate openly with your romantic partner, so should you with your friends. In case of a bugging issue, speak up and let them know how you feel. It goes a long way in creating a space where your friends can come to you in case of anything.

131,613 BEST African Friends IMAGES, STOCK PHOTOS & VECTORS | Adobe Stock

Set boundaries

The fact is, friendships can get toxic. You do not have to go with the flow all the time on decisions your friends make. Sometimes, they are wrong and need you to bring light to such situations. On other instances, you do not have to share everything with them. Know the things worth talking about and those just better left unsaid. Boundaries help maintain healthy relationships among people and is a great way to have a life outside of them.

Be understanding of their other friendships

Unlike your partner whom you have to yourself as a romantic sidekick, your friends will definitely have other friends. Accept them without having to criticize these other relationships. You definitely won’t get along with all of them. That does not mean you have to destroy the relationship they have with your friends.

Create time to spend together

Friends need time together to catch up and reconnect. Most friendships that end unexpectedly have to be those that lost contact. You might not be beefing with someone but not spending time together will throw the friendship off balance. Plan and go for road trips, have sleepovers, attend events, go out. Basically create memories together.

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Make effort

At the end of the day, effort matters in all our relationships. Do not let good friendships slide down the drain because of pride. It is okay to feel angry at times, feel misunderstood and feel let down. But overall, try and make it work. Depending on the situation, there’s always a way to fix it!

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Adulting101

Level up

4 things we need to normalise before the end of 2021!

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A lot has been said about some of these things but it is time we shed them off. Most of these things are not cast on stones but are deeply rooted in us.  Let us work towards normalising them.

1. Clubbing in sneakers for ladies

After a tough week of hustling, adulting, and paying bills, the weekend is here and you need to loosen up, go clubbing, and have fun. Question is, does it always have to be in heels? You probably already use your heels during workdays. Ditch them and go for something comfier.

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2. Male grooming

For the longest time, we have been uptight when we see men getting serious about their grooming. It is about time we do away with the labeling of well-groomed men.

And for the men, getting a pedicure and using face masks does not make you any less of a man.

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3. Calling out rogue service providers

It is about time we put an end to staying quiet whenever any service provider treats us awfully. Routine is simple- let them know you don’t like how they are treating you and if need be, contact the customer care office.

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4. Commercialising our passions

We don’t really need white-collar jobs to get things going. With the current unemployment situation in the country, the least you can do is find something to put food on your table. Commercialise that passion.

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Adulting101

COVID-19 and your mental health

One and a half years down the line, the world is still battling COVID-19.

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The pandemic has devasted a lot of people especially young adults, some have lost their loved ones while others have lost their jobs. As a result, most of us experience loneliness, anxiety, depression, stress, and also nervous breakdowns.

As devastating as COVID-19 has been, the issue of its effects on mental health may last longer than the disease itself and that is why it’s important to learn self-care strategies and get the care you need to cope.

Below are some of the self-care strategy tips that can help improve your mental health.

Take care of your body both Mental/Emotional and Spiritual health

This is a state of well-being in which an individual realizes his/her potential while navigating the stresses and difficulties of life.

You need to remain calm and focused while working things out with respect and unconditional intent to find a solution. Ultimately your personal character; personal strength and courage will evolve. Attaining this requires you to make healthy choices in terms of your nutrition, relationships, social contact, work, and leisure activities.

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Avoid peer pressure to taking drugs.

Peer pressure! We all go through it in our lives, sometimes it has positive impacts. However, if you’re a victim of negative peer pressure it can have a negative impact on your mental health during this time of the pandemic.

Be very particular about the peers you have; just have those who fit well in your ideal thinking about career options, hobbies, and interests.

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Limit screen time and take time to relax and recharge.

Set aside time for yourself. Even a few minutes of quiet time can be refreshing and help to quiet your mind and reduce anxiety. Many people benefit from practices such as deep breathing, yoga, and meditation. Listen to music or podcasts, read a book, or go out with your friends while following the preventive measures for COVID-19. Just do something that will help you relax.

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Adulting101

How to use Zoom like a pro

Working from home has become the new normal after, well, Covid. All we need to do is embrace it and use it to our advantage.

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Almost everything is held virtually, and this goes for conferences, meetings and seminars too. This doesn’t have to stop you from acing that presentation or interview because applications like Zoom came through for such moments. Now having Zoom is one thing, but knowing how to use its features like a pro is the key to unlocking successful calls.

Screen-sharing

This feature is a great plus for your presentations. You get to share with other members in the call a PowerPoint you created, or a document and even videos. Some have watched a full movie during those virtual parties thanks to this feature right here.

You can access it by clicking the Share screen icon in the toolbar at the bottom of the meeting screen. Now take note that once you click this option, everyone in the call can see what you are sharing. So mute those notifications, clear your tabs, and you are good to go.

How to Share a Screen on Zoom

Image/ Lifewire

Recording

Recently, I conducted a virtual interview for an article I was writing on sexual health advocacy. Recording the whole call came in handy during the writing process for references and quotations. Just like we take records of important events and meetings, Zoom also allows you to do this and have an archive to get back to. On top of the call screen, there’s a recording button which you can click on to save the whole meeting to your device.

Background

If you have to get on a quick call but is worried about your physical background, you can virtually transport yourself to a background of your choice! It could be in space, the beach, an office, and many other options which Zoom avails to its participants.

Simply go to setting, click on Virtual background, and select or upload a background of your choice. Companies have also customized backgrounds to fit that of their company logo which makes it have a more professional look.

How to change your Zoom background | Tom's Guide

Breakout rooms

You can create breakout rooms within a call to create smaller group discussions. For example, if the whole office is in call, each department can have their own rooms to discuss an agenda then get back to the main room for pitches or feedback. Alternatively, this feature is perfect for game nights where the call members each have a team. It brings out the competitiveness and teamwork, making the games successful.

As the meeting host, you can start a breakout room by clicking Account management then Account settings. Under the Meeting tab, click Breakout Room. From there, you can assign participants to their respective rooms.

Beauty filter

If you thought beauty filter was on Instagram and Snapchat only, you thought wrong. Zoom has it too! This is perfect for the days you just need a little touch up to bring out that virtual glow. The ‘Touch Up My Appearance’ feature can be found on the settings button, under video settings. Just like any other beauty filter, it makes your appearance look smooth, and dewy for your calls.

 

 

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